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Welcome to Scottish.biz - whether you are from Aberdeen, Aberystwyth,
Abbottabad or the Abemama Atoll we are delighted that you are visiting our website. Here you will find everything to do with our beautiful country of Scotland - with pictures of our majestic mountains and tranquil lochs and information on our history, people and language. You can find out about Scottish Clans, Tartans, Kilts, Ceilidhs, Bagpipes, Midges, Monsters (even the Loch Ness Monster is here) and Ghosts (visit our webcams). And if that were not enough there is also Scottish Poetry, Songs and Nursery Rhymes for you to enjoy.

So please have fun on our website - and 'haste ye back'. 

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No' Rabbie Burns

Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road

Scottish Jokes

Kihara made a strong start in the Loch Ness Marathon and even by the mile mark had a decisive lead. However, as he rounded the next corner he was shocked to see a kilted figure a few hundred yards ahead of him. Annoyed that he wasn't in the lead he upped his pace. By the six mile mark he had reduced the gap enough to see that the leader was carrying a sheep under each arm. Kihara dug in deep but gradually the kilted runner increased his lead again. As he approached the hill at eighteen miles Kihara once again grew close to the leader. Pushing with all his might Kihara drew level at the top of the hill. Through puffs and pants he gasped to the Scotsman, 'Why are you making things so difficult for yourself - you could be leading by miles if you weren't carrying those sheep.'
'Och Ah'm no' in the race laddie,' replied the Scotsman, 'Ah jist grudge the bus fare tae take ma sheep tae the market.'
[From Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road by Stuart McLean]

More Scottish Jokes

 Saltire - the Scottish Flag

The Flag of Scotland, also known as the Saint Andrew's Cross or The Saltire, is the national flag of Scotland. The Saltire differs from the Royal Standard of Scotland in that it is the Saltire that is the correct flag for all individuals and corporate bodies to fly in order to demonstrate both their loyalty and Scottish nationality. It is also, where possible, flown from Scottish Government buildings every day from 8am until sunset. According to legend, the Christian apostle and martyr Saint Andrew, the patron saint of Scotland, was crucified on an X-shaped cross at Patras,, in Achaea. Use of the familiar iconography of his martyrdom, showing the apostle bound to an X-shaped cross, first appears in the Kingdom of Scotland in 1180, during the reign of William I. This image was again depicted on seals used during the late 13th century; including on one particular example used by the Guardians of Scotland, dated 1286.

Scottish Nursery Rhyme

Here we go round the jingo-ring

Here we go round the jingo-ring,
The jingo-ring, the jingo-ring,
Here we go round the jingo-ring,
About the merry-ma-tanzie.


Twice about and then we fa',
Then we fa', then we fa',
Twice about and then we fa',
About the merry-ma-tanzie.


Choose your maidens all around,
All around, all around,
Choose your maidens all around,
About the merry-ma-tanzie.

More Scottish Nursery Rhymes

All things Scottish . . .

Scottish Piper

Girl in a mini kilt

Tossing the Caber

Robert Burns

Haggis climbing a mountain

Scottish Thistles

Scottish Whisky

Mull from Iona

Forth Railway Bridge

Loch Lomond

Buachaille Etive Mòr

Charles Rennie MacIntosh

Scottish Songs

Caledonia by Dougie MacLean

I don't know if you can see
The changes that have come over me.
In these last few days I've been afraid
That I might drift away
So I've been telling old stories, singing songs
That make me think about where I came from
And that's the reason why I seem
So far away today


Oh, but let me tell you that I love you
That I think about you all the time
Caledonia you're calling me
And now I'm going home
If I should become a stranger
You know that it would make me more than sad
Caledonia's been everything
I've ever had


Now I have moved and I've kept on moving
Proved the points that I needed proving
Lost the friends that I needed losing
Found others on the way
I have kissed the ladies and left them crying
Stolen dreams, yes there's no denying
I have travelled hard with coattails flying
Somewhere in the wind


(Chorus)
Now I'm sitting here before the fire
The empty room, the forest choir
The flames that could not get any higher
They've withered now they've gone
But I'm steady thinking my way is clear
And I know what I will do tomorrow
When the hands are shaken and the kisses flow
Then I will disappear
 

More Scottish Songs

Scottish Poems from No' Rabbie Burns by Stuart McLean:

A Hundred of Us Remain Alive


Chorus:
Honest men, let us fight for freedom,
Let us rise and be a nation once more,
Honest men, let us fight for freedom,
But maybe no’ ‘til East Enders is o’er.

Our history is slowly melting,
Washed away by the anaesthetic drips,
Of soap operas, computer games,
Instant coffee, burgers and chips.

The Highland Clearances no longer fires our rage,
The Declaration of Arbroath no longer fuels our pride,
Now we only don the kilt for weddings,
To smile at the camera and kiss the bride.

For centuries we fought for our wee bit hill and glen,
Rejoiced every victory and mourned each cruel defeat,
Now our only rebellious act is switching channel,
While the wife is watching Coronation Street.

At Bannockburn we stood strong and showed our might,
We died at Culloden but not without a bloody fight,
Now our patriotism is confined to the football stadium,
Accepting defeat as if it were our right.

O, Robert the Bruce where are you now?
Prince Charlie will your wife not let you come?
Or are there not a hundred of us remain alive,
Would even give up the telly to fight for our freedom?

Copyright Stuart McLean

More Scottish Poetry