An amazingly funny joke from our collection of the 100 funniest Scottish Jokes (probably in the whole world).

Scottish Joke Title : The Clever Scotsman

The Joke :

A plane was shot down over Iraq and Saddam Hussain captured a Scotsman,an Englishman and an Australian. Saddam says 'I'm not as cruel as George Bush says I am You will be given 50 lashes each but you can have whatever you want on your back'
The Australian goes first and asks for the finest Kangaroo hide there is to cover his back. This is granted and he receives the kangaroo hide before he receives 50 lashes. His back is all torn and bleeding but he survives.
The Englishman says 'I will take it as it comes I will have nothing on my back and will be proud to bear the scars' he shouts defiantly'Stiff upper lip you know eh what' His wish is granted and he receives his 50 lashes, his back torn and bleeding, his ribs fractured and protruding, a terrible mess to behold.
'Now Jock It's your turn you have the same choice as the other two what would you like on your back' says Saddam.
Jock replies quickly and without hesitation 'I'll have the Englishman'

More Scottish

NOTES : Some of the pictures used on this site are "Creative Commons Licensed" or have been sent in by visitors. If you see anything that you think should not be here please contact us and we will have it removed. If you would like any of your photographs, short stories, poems or articles on Scotland published here we would be delighted to hear from you.