A short Scottish Script for your amusement . . . so funny you may well laugh your socks off (provided you're not wearing your wellies.

Script Title : Queen Visits Kelvingrove Art Gallery by Stuart Macfarlane

Script :

WOMAN 1: Excuse me hen but there’s a queue fur the lavvie.

QUEEN: One is very sorry but one is in a great hurry for one needs to declare this wonderful art gallery officially open.

WOMAN 2: Look luv, jist cos you’ve goat a crown on yer heed an that disnae meen ye need a crap any mare than we dae.

QUEEN: Pardon one but one must say that as your queen one has certain privileges so one must insist that one goes first.

WOMAN 1: Ow, she’s full o’ hersel’ int she?

WOMAN 2: Aye, who dis she think she is?

F/X: DOOR OPENING – SKUFFLE – DOOR SLAMMING CLOSED AGAIN

WOMAN 1: The wee bugger! Did ye see that? She jist rushed in afair us.

QUEEN: (MUFFLED VOICE FROM WITHIN TOILET CUBICLE) Let that be a lesson to you (SHORT PAUSE) a royal flush always beats a pair of commoners.

Script is copyright Stuart Macfarlane - you are free to use it provided you request permission from the webmaster.

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