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Funny Scottish Books by your webmaster - click on an image for more details

Robert Burns Scottish Poetry

midge joke book

haggis joke book


Scottish . biz . . . everything about Scotland

From Bonnie Scotland we bring you the very best of Scottish . . .

Scottish Facts and Statistics

Scotland Statistics Summary

Capital Edinburgh
Largest City Glasgow
Official Languages English, Gaelic, Scots
Area 78,772 km² (30,414 sq mi)
Population 5,194,000 (2009 est.)
Population in main Cities Glasgow 577,980
Edinburgh 446,110
Aberdeen 179,950
Dundee 141,930
Inverness 42,400
Stirling 33,060
Population Density 64/km² (167.5/sq mi)
Currency Pound sterling (GBP)

Longest Rivers

River Tay 193km

River Spey 172km
River Clyde 171km
River Tweed 156km
River Forth 105km

Shortest River River Morar 500 metres

Highest Mountains

Ben Nevis 1344 m

Ben Macdui 1309m
Braeriach 1296m

Largest Loch

Loch Lomond 60 sq km

Loch Ness 56 sq km
Loch Awe 38 sq km
Loch Maree 29 sq km

Coastline Approximately 10,000km with
3,900km mainland coast

National Anthem

Flower of Scotland or Scotland the Brave

Number of Scottish Islands

Around 800 - though some are no more than large rocks

Largest Island

Lewis and Harris in the Outer Hebrides

Area 217,898 hectacre : Population : 19918

Scotland's Top Five Export Industries (£billions) Food & drink £4.6
Chemicals £2.2
Wholesale, retail & accommodation £1.9
Business services £1.9
Office machinery £1.2
Top Five Export
Destinations (£billions)
USA £2.8
France £1.5
Netherlands £1.4
Germany £1.3
Eire £1.0
GVA £104 billion (2008 est.)
GVA (per head) £19,152 (2007 est.)
Main religions Church of Scotland (Presbyterian), Scottish Episcopal Church, Roman Catholicism
National Dress of Scotland The Kilt
Symbolic Flower of Scotland The Thistle
National Food Haggis, Neeps and Tatties
Famous Inventors

Sir Alexander Fleming Inventor of Penicillin

John Logie Baird Inventor of Television

Alexander Graham Bell Inventor of The Telephone

James Watt Inventor of The Steam Engine

John Loudon McAdam Inventor of Tar Road Surfacing

John Boyd Dunlop Inventor of Pneumatic Tyres

Biography of Joseph Lister Inventor of Antiseptic

Sir Robert Watson-Watt Inventor of Radar

Kirkpatrick Macmillan Inventor of The Bicycle

John Napier Natural Inventor of Logarithms


Population and Language

Geography of Scotland


Scottish People

Scottish Culture

Scottish Tourism

Scottish History

Scottish Nature

Scottish Industrial

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Be Kind to Auld Grannie by Archibald Mackay

Be kind to auld grannie, for noo she is frail,

As a time shatter'd tree bending low in the gale.

When ye were bairnies tott, totting about,

She watch'd ye when in, and she watched ye when out;

And aye when ye chanc'd in your daffin and fun,

To dunt your wee head on the cauld stanney grun',

She lifted ye up and she kiss'd ye fu' fain,

Till a' your bit cares were forgotten again.

Then be kind to auld grannie, for noo she is frail,

As a time shatter'd tree bending low in the gale.

When first in your breasts rose that feeling divine,

That's wak'd by the tales and the sangs o' lang syne,

Wi' auld-warld cracks she would pleasure inspire,

In the lang winter nights as she sat by the fire;

Or melt your young hearts wi' some sweet Scottish lay,

Like 'Flow'rs o' the Forest' or 'Auld Robbie Gray';

Though eerie the win' blew around our bit cot,

Grim winter and a' its wild blasts were forgot;

Then be kind to auld grannie, for noo she is frail,

As a time shatter'd tree bending low in the gale.

And mind though the blythe day o' youth is noo yours,

Time will wither its joys, as wild winter the flow'rs;

And your step that's noo licht as the bound o' the roe,

Wi' cheerless auld age may be feeble and slow;

And the frien's o' your youth to the grave may be gane,

And ye on its brink may be tott'ring alane;

Oh, think how consoling some frien' would be then,

When the gloaming o' life comes like mist o'er the glen;

Then be kind to auld grannie, for noo she is frail,

As a time shatter'd tree bending low in the gale.

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